The Writings of Kat Schaw.

I am a pure, clean, chaste Vergin.
I am a hore with her legs spread wide.

I am a caring mother, loving sister, obident doughter.
I am a horid murder, a betrayer, and a back-stabber.

I am genrious, and I know how to listion.
I am a thiefe, and I gossip lies that betray others cares.

I dance in true godly love.
I dance in sultry abuse.

I am hummble, gentle, and lovng.
I am proud, boastfull, harsh, crule, and selfish:
All, everything, and everyone is mine.

Oh, I am human, and sadly that allso means I am ficckle as the Northren Sea.

I am human, I am so apply flawed, and I am me.

                                                                   ___ Kat Schaw.

I have a picture in my head,
I try to expose it, and make it real.

I take a paint brush in hand-
I have no natural feel.
I work, I strive, there is no flow.
I see one thing inside of me,
there is something comepleately different on the papper potrayed by paint.

Some-one tries to teach me.
I have not the patience to learn well, thy have not the patience to teach me.

I have a pictyre in my head,
I try to expose it, and make it real.

I try to describe the picture with words,
lay bare its truths and beauties… and I fail.

“You have no Art!
What are you sayintg?!?
Is this me you are protraying?”

I canot find the words that say what I feel,
The colors to describe what I see,
The verb to make felt what is happening.

I have a picture in my head.
I try to expose it, and make it real.

Understanding communication is the hardest accomplishment on The Earth!

                                                                                          ___ Kat Schaw.

Don’r look into the mirror to loon!
Your soul might fluy away.

Don’t look into the mirror too long!
Your heart might begin to break.

Don’t look into the mnirror too long!
Your eyes may start to glaze.

Don’t look into the mirror too long!
Seven years bad-luck might come your way.

Don’t look into the mirror too long!
Your life might pass you by.

Don’t look into the mirror too long!
Your mind might begin to sigh.

Don’t look into the mirror too long!
Your vainty might increase by-and-by.

Don’t look in the mirror too long!
Don’t look in the mirror tool long!
Don’t look in the mirror too long!

                                            You might find some evil there…

                                                                                __ Kat Schaw.

Atfirst there was only you and I, and for a while you made me feel real.
Then another walked in, and I was alone again.

You two talked, and talked; then in walked another.
You, and the two others talked, and I was invisable.

You didn’t look my way, our eyes didn’t meet;
you didn’t know me, and I wasn’t real.

I walked around the room hoping someone would say something to me, you turned your back to me and ignored me.
Another walked in, there were three and you__ what do I do?

All of you ran out of things to say, you didn’t even bother to look my way.
I walked in/walked through to get my sweater, someone asked how I was doing_ you looked away.

I lied and said I was fine, he smiled, you started a conversathion that I couldn’t be a part of.
I walked back to my side of the room, and sighed.
why have you made me invisible?
Here I am, invisible again.

Two left for coffie, you stayed talking.
I wonderd why you don’t care the way you should? (__ The way you could?)
She finshed talking, flirting, tugging on your elbow/sleve.
Walking away she flashes a smile at me, I smile politely.

It’s back to just you and me.
You look my way, my heart thinks it could mend.
You smile while you walk- then you speak (to me!)
“Bye.”
        Oh! Please no!
“Bye!” I say with a desperately fake smile.

I know I will not see you again until I have to/you have to, when we both happen to be here.
You put on your jacket/ your sweater/ your hopodie/ your hat went to go to the door.
You flashed me that awfully beautiful smile at me, and gave me the “polite” nod.
I smiled, and pretend I didn’t care asmuch as I did.
                                                                    Tears…

I’m incisible again.
My heart beat in a way that I had to run to catchup with it to slow it down.
You make me smile, and my heart frown.

I’ll quietly wait until I’m real again.

                                               __Kat Schaw.

I am invisable again.
All who loved me, or cared are now gone;
all of the rest are now silent towards me
(when I am bleeding).

Everyone that looked toward me have lfet,
my pain is mine alone, comefort will not come;
not like it used to, not the real kine tht truely efects a persons soul.

I used to have people that loved me…
I used to wisper my hearts confushions,
my souls sickness, andmy minds pains.
thy would know, thy would understand.
Comefort and clarity would come on the breaze of compashion!

Now Ihave noe-one to wisper to:
Though I yell, scream, try as much as I humanly can there is no-one th hear me.

I don’t want some-one to see me,
then sweap in and fix everything in my life that is broken, or hurts.
I just want some-one to hear me,
to listion while I go on and work for something better - for things to get somehow better.

I am invisable again.
No-one sees who I am, how I love,
what my eyes see in others,
the way i dance, what brings me joy,
what causes me to laugh or smile.

Ijust wan’t some-one to care,
I want some-one to love me in a simple way.

am I asking for /hoping for the impossable?
Is a genuian heart so hard to be that I am surching for an immposablity?
(Why am I invisable again?)

                                                                      ___ Kat Schaw.

It’s true.
He dose!!!!!
<3

(Source: paperbeatsscissors)

O.k. So my heard was right, and my heart was rong. Again. 
What else is new?!?

Hopefully there will be a day that both agrea, and both are right.
(If that dosn’t happen soon I’m going to KILL somebody!)

What am I suposed to do? Jum off of a bridge b/c my head and heart didnot agrea?
I don’t think so!
I’m going to keep going; I’m going to keep hopeing.

Love is a fickkle thing that is no stranger to me.
Somuch uglieness and pain, it’s only a matter of”Someday soon!” before a truely good thing comes to me.

Please let something good come tome…

A beautifull tree without leaves… a winter tree…
All brown, branchy, tall, and bravely staing “alone’.

A thing of tall, strong life:
A life of ages, and ages of reliable dignity.
A watchfull tree…

A winter tree, all of brown…

                                        ___ Kat Schaw.

My hearts a flower to be held not crushed,
I can feel the rush of life flowing through me,
through my vains.

Not just to be looked upon,
not just to sit in the sun and exsist-
But to be loved and grow further!

A flower, a flower, a flower am I.
I turn my cae towards love,
and find growth there.

                                 ___ Kat Scahw.

I wish there was a languege for all of mankind:
One that is not learned, but allways known.
If only there where a languege that could allways convay the depest meaning,
the depest feeling,
The ulatimite understanding!

I wish that there was a languege to hold allof the worlds griefes and pains:
A languege to express the love’s unsopken;
To clear away the confushion, hatred, and misunderstandings.

A languege where something only needs to be said once,
and its accepted and understood.
A languege where one’s motive, and feelings donot have to be explaind, but are recgonized.

A languege fules by fier, by a fier that is held someplace deep within the whole of mankinds heart:
A fier that is easily, and often fulled, or replinshed;
A fier that cannot die unless one decides to neveragiain be herd, or understood.
Solitude.
Comepleate, and utter solitude.

Oh! For a languege where love is not a battlefiled, but a place of fullfillment!

Imagine if there could be a languege that made every man a brother,
every woman a sister,
hatred exposed for its ugliness,
War for it’s awefull confushion,
and heartbreaks reasions!

I wish there where one languege for the world…

                                                                   ___ Kat Schaw.

Oh God, keep my souol from lovesongs __
I can’t bear the preshure, or the hopes.
I cannot tame my own mind __
I so! longs to capthure, and be capthured by anothers words, anothers heart…

I wish to find love;
If only to keep my selfe from wondering about others intent… others hearts.

Is my nathure so drawn towards a fancifull dream that I stumble upon every avaible heart that passes near me?

Will ever some-one wonder the same about me?
Wonder about my heart, my minds intent?
Dose some-one watch me hopeing beyound the hint of fatih?

I doubt it; for I am still… alone. 

                                            ___ Kat Schaw.

I had a dream that there was snow that coverd the wrinter ground,
A freezing rainvame and changed the scene.

The snow some-how melted by the freezing rain?!
Everythng was coatesd in Ice, petrified.

The solid ground, pavement, cement was slick and deadly.
The grass, coated in Ice changed to an Irish-Green unathrall to this time of year.

Despite the deadly cold and the strange change,
Everything shone wityh a beauty,
sparkling, and glimmered its deathly whisper.

Freezing rain, what a strange thing you can be.

                                                                      ___ Kat Schaw.